Monday, February 28, 2011

Microscopes


Microscopes

Kind of overkill, unless you're looking at something really, really tiny.

2/5

Music


Music

Often loud and intrusive.

2/5

Ebeneezer Scrooge


Ebeneezer Scrooge

A successful businessman with an uncompromising hatred for handicapped children.

1.5/5

Orange


Orange

Both a color and a fruit. Dually useful.

4.5/5

Lavender


Lavender

Just purple, unless you mean the flower.

3/5

Winter


Winter

A completely offensive season which more often than not outstays its welcome.

1/5

Sewers


Sewers

The best anybody can come up with.

3.5/5

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Juggling


Juggling

Basically just making a mess.

1.5/5

Checkers


Checkers

Only really worth playing if you have an opponent.

3/5

Monday, February 21, 2011

A Douche


A Douche

A misunderstood, often misused juice box.

3/5

New Zealand


New Zealand

Actually a country of its own.

4/5

Finishing in Last Place


Finishing in Last Place

Literally the worst you could have done.

0.5/5

Olive Oil


Olive Oil

A tasty, natural lubricant.

4.5/5

"The Brave Little Toaster"


"The Brave Little Toaster"


I have no idea what the fuck is going on here.

2/5

John Lennon


John Lennon


An international terrorist who synthesized many of today's most popular recreational drugs.

1.5/5

Frosted Flakes


Frosted Flakes

They're great.

5/5

Zeus


Zeus

A notorious bearded rapist. Totally insufferable, from what I understand.

1/5

Comfort


Comfort

Better than the alternative.

3.5/5

Bears


Bears

Not especially useful outside of a zoo or circus.

1.5/5

Snow


Snow

Just cold dirt, really.

2/5

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Context


Context

Invaluable for understanding what's going on.

4.5/5

Karen Carpenter


Karen Carpenter

Much closer to a musician than to a handyperson. Deceptive.

1.5/5

Eggs


Eggs

Not even really vegetables, when you think about it.

4/5

Frogger


Frogger


A lot like a video game, but not as fun.

2/5

Robert Redford


Robert Redford


An extremely resilient person.

3.5/5

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Disappointment


Disappointment

Not ordinarily what you were looking for.

.5/5

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Colonel Mustard


Colonel Mustard

Usually the guilty party.

1.5/5

Being Underwater


Being Underwater

Very difficult to breathe without some kind of assistance.

1/5

Denim


Denim

A durable fabric which, while highly uncomfortable, remains popular across the world due to its hardiness and utility.

3/5

South Park


South Park

An animated television program, like The Rugrats. Often humorous and satirical, and from the creators of "Baseketball". Good stuff.

4/5

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Daffy Duck


Daffy Duck

A tasteless and offensive misrepresentation of the duck, which actually lacks the anatomical means to speak. Did you know that ducks belong to the bird family?

2/5

Valentine's Day


Valentine's Day

A holiday on which we honor the fourteen martyred saints with the name Valentine. Altogether a somber occasion.

4/5

Monday, February 14, 2011

The Scientific Method


The Scientific Method

A fun way of approaching experiments. In the past it has led us to some pretty interesting discoveries.

5/5

Elevators


Elevators


A convenient alternative to stairs, especially for people in wheelchairs, who might otherwise find it nearly impossible to travel between floors.

4.5/5

Dorothy


Dorothy

Actually nothing more than a fictional character, played by actress Judy Garland.

3/5

"Citizen Kane"


"Citizen Kane"

Long, boring, and shot in black and white.

1.5/5

The Harlem Globetrotters


The Harlem Globetrotters

Not actually a real basketball team. Much more akin to circus performers, but occasionally their love for the game seems to come through behind those goofy shenanigans.

3/5

The Weekend


The Weekend

Really a lot of fun. It's during the weekend that you get to kick back, really relax, and just "chill out".

5/5

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Golf


Golf

Not really a sport, is it? Requires roughly the same muscle build as Bingo.

2/5

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Going to a Concert


Going to a Concert

A lot of fun sometimes. What can be really fun to do is to go to the concert and then dance if you like the music being played.

3.5/5

The Electric Guitar


The Electric Guitar

A hideous sounding instrument emblematic of the rather embarrassing American "rock n' roll" movement. Thank Christ this is a thing of the past.

1/5

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Sharks


Sharks

Apparently not as ferocious as they're made out to be. Often bred with other species, as with the Bull Shark or the Tiger Shark, and with every day items, as with the Hammerhead Shark. Neat!

4.5/5

Park Place


Park Place

One half of the most valuable pair of properties in the board game "Monopoly". Still not as valuable, however, as its counterpart, Boardwalk.

4/5

Fiction


Fiction

Stories that are not true. False stories.

1/5

Oreos


Oreos

Just chocolate and cream sandwiches, really. If they marketed them as such, they'd probably see more success. Great cookies. Keep your eyes peeled for these bad boys.

4.5/5

Shapes


Shapes

Pretty decent. Shapes are probably here to stay.

4/5

"Das Boot: The Director's Cut"


"Das Boot: The Director's Cut"

For a non German-speaker, it is nearly impossible to understand without subtitles enabled. Otherwise not that special. Not a lot of scenic variety.

2/5

Monday, February 7, 2011

World War II


World War II

Catastrophic. In some ways, everyone lost the war.

0/5

The Cardinal Directions


The Cardinal Directions

Probably the most efficient way to spatially consider yourself relative to anything else. Worth checking out.

5/5

Ancient Greece


Ancient Greece

A very complicated history, but not especially rewarding, even if you're willing to put in the time.

2.5/5